Why do I bring this up?
A little over a year and a half ago, I said the hardest "goodbye" I have ever had to make. I would love to say that was an exaggeration, but it really is not. I said "I'll write you" to my little brother, who was entering the MTC to begin his LDS Mission, which would take him to Mexico.
Again, why do I bring this up? This is not new news. You probably all remember me freaking out a little (or more than a little).
The reason is this:
Looking back at my life, there has always been a pattern, than only now, as I contemplate another goodbye, I see clearly. The pattern is my friends. The pattern is YOU. Yes...you. Clearly, I am speaking in multiple when I state "you", but basically, if YOU are reading this...then YOU are included in that YOU. Now that we are clear on that...let's move on.
I have always been a truly sentimental person. Growing up, I was never the life of the party, the popular girl or any of that and I had very few friends. But the friends that I did have, meant the world to me.
As my life fell apart around me, I took sanctuary in my friends. I lived for the moments that I could just spend time with my friends. For me, it was always the best of times.
And it fell apart again, and you were there to catch me.
And as my life felt like it was starting to fall apart when Trevor left, I once again took sanctuary in my friends.
One of my favorite sayings in this world is: Friends are relatives you make for yourself. ~Eustache Deschamps
I truly believe that line.
So what is it that I want to say with this post? What is it that drove me to open my computer and try to make something of the nonsensical emotions that I have?
I believe it is that I want YOU to know how much I needed you in my life! The greatness that you thought was your ordinary self...I NEEDED that in my life. You might think of it as a little blown out of proportion for me to say, "You saved my life", but I don't. For me it quite literally is the truth.
If I haven't told you...if I haven't shown you or expressed in some way how much the simple act of you being my friend, brother, sister, niece or nephew means to me, then I have sadly failed your kindness!
Some of you I have known forever, some a little longer than that and others not long at all, but it doesn't feel that way!
Do you remember the times we drove around late in the summer nights singing Oingo Boingo? Or waking up early to go and see the balloons launch for the 4th of July? Do you remember drawing pictures in your mom's new plush cream carpet with quarters? Do you remember that "Senior Sluff" day at Lagoon? Do you remember that crazy belly dancing routine we did with the key?
Do you remember watching the Simpsons every night on the VHS tape? Do you remember all the awesome times at Ihop? Or those crazy nights were we laughed till we cried at four in the morning? How about the time we got pulled over in Forks at 2am? Or drove out to La Push at 1am? Do you remember the crazy trades we made in Sunday Monopoly games because we got bored and "wanted to spice it up"?
Do you remember that time we stayed up talking about nothing and everything all at once? Do you remember how nice it was to have you as a "roommate" downstairs? Do you remember that time you let me cry on you when I couldn't stand it anymore? Do you remember our catch phrases, like "blowfish", "crabby patties", "brookitito burrito, nitto nacho girl and taco paco man" or "caddywhompus"?
Do you remember our trips? Star Valley, Moab, Washington, California...
Rock Band, Dance Recitals, Movie Night, Harry Potter Book Club, Ihop, that Chinese place that has those egg rolls that taste just like that other place that's closed now....
The Color Festivals, the princess breakfast and monster truck show...
The emails that we shared. Snowboarding and Arches? (bucket list items, btw)
The "Walmart fun" late at night, along with 3am Taco Bell runs.
Fantastic Mr. Fox. Om Shanti Om. Up. Wall-E. Across the Universe. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Love at Stake.
Do you remember all the good times at Yamato, Cafe Rio, Spicey Thai, Bombay House and Indian Palace, and Joe's? The little chinese place in Provo? Lots and lots of sushi??
Do you remember Blue October, TMBG, Tally Hall and Muse?
Do you remember that time we shot that huge gun and it was AWESOME??
I do.
So, even though there are some of you that I have drifted apart from, have only just met, will soon be saying "hello" to, or in Jeff's case, am sad to be saying goodbye to shortly....I have not forgotten one minute of it all!
My life has been altered by your presence. I am changed now. And I have YOU to thank for it.
Thank you for sharing your awesomeness with me!! Thank you letting me be a part of your life! Thank you for being a part of mine!!!
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~Albert Schweitzer
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. ~Dr. Seuss.
5 comments:
you posted. :)
and you know what? it was a lovely post. i really enjoyed reading it. made me think of all the things that i remember with various friends, and with you.
thank you for opening up and sharing these thoughts, feelings (and quotes) with us. we, (us YOU's) are also blessed by having You in our life. so, thank You.
ps.
remember that time we were frantic and late, eating a wendy's frosty and racing up to salt lake? remember your new shoes? ...and remember when you got a parking ticket? i do. :)
the coolest thing about this post (seriously dig it, by the way) is that in the long list of memories you recalled, i only recognized a fraction of them.
which means that there are lot of other people out there, too, reading this.
yes, friends are the family you choose for yourself, and you most definitely have been part of that family around me.
i chime in with kristin: thank you for this post and for sharing your feelings and you.
and that time at tally hall was pretty awesome, even if i missed tally hall.... ; )
I am glad I have a friend like you that remember all those crazy things too. I still watch Simpsons at night to fall asleep, but now they're the seasons on DVD. Sometimes I feel like a freak, cuz I can remember most stuff no one else does. But now I know you do too and that is awesome to me. Those were some of the best times I have ever had. I was actually talking about Star Valley the other day, when we pushed the beds together after jumping on them. lol Anyway I love that you are my friend, even if we don't get to see each other a lot I want you to know you are very special to me. I will always treasure the times we spent together and your friendship. I am always here when you need me. (plus I found Love at Stake on DVD.) :)
LMAO off at some of those memories! I totally forgot about Love at Stake! A lot of the other ones make me grin my huge giant grin, good times! I LOVE YOU! and Alexa loves her Auntie Bur (Kellan does too he just doesn't realize it yet):)
yea. you're awesome!
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