So I have had a lot on my mind lately, but no real time to write it down.
While this may not be the most organized, here's what's been going on in my head (prepare for soapbox moments):
This weekend was General Conference (In case you've been living under a rock) and it seems that all of the messages were directed in some part to things that I have been pondering. While usually there is one or two messages that seem to personally touch me and make me think "that was just for me", I am having a hard time picking out a particular talk this time. All of the talks were "just for me" it seems.
In fact, even now, looking over the talks and topics, I am thinking "wow...that was good" or "oh, I want to listen to that one again!"
In the past month or so, I have noticed a shift in my life and it has become quite disconcerting. The shift is in the number of people I have around me that do not believe what I believe and that actively promote their contrary beliefs to mine. For the most part, they leave messages on their walls in Facebook about some random thing that BYU did to some poor picked on student who wasn't living up to the standards set forth by the private institution in order to attend the prestigious university. I was able to easily overlook those and continue on with my life not thinking much about it.
Lately, however, it's been amped up a notch. It seems every time I turn around, there's a discussion about how there is no god; that our existence here is just a flash in the pan and then it's over; how we shouldn't be guilted by organized religion into not being able to do what we wanted in this life to be happy. Again, I shrugged it off. These were my friends. I love them. I accept them for who they are. I try not to judge them and say "whatever makes them happy".
Then General Conference came and I was uplifted by the messages of hope and faith. I felt the spirit. It was wonderful....that is, until I got on Facebook and read the posts made by the friends I surrounded myself with. Sure, I have lots of friends that believe the same things as I do and we all posted how great conference was, but the one or two messages of contempt from the others somehow diminished the whole effect.
I actually read one post twice because I thought perhaps I was being unfair to them. In the end though, I deleted them as a friend. While they won't realize, I am sure, that I have deleted them right away, it never the less was a difficult decision for me. I didn't delete them out of spite or anger or any of those feelings, but more out of a desire for mutual respect. When it comes to my religion, I am not a pushy person, so I guess I felt disrespected being subjected to their beliefs in such an unceremoniously brutal fashion. I would never tell them what to believe and I would request the same courtesy, so us not being friends seemed the easiest solution. I am not going to delete all my friends who don't believe what I do, but it begs the question....will I have to one day? Right now, it's just the really outspoken ones, but there's a line drawn out in the sand somewhere and one day we will all meet at it...what then? These are my friends...and family...I love them. What then?
So, shrugging off the bad taste of deletion in my mouth, I went on my merry way and looked forward to the rest of my week.
Last night was Glee, and while there are some that scoff, I actually have like the show. I like their different renditions of popular songs and it's more light hearted than some of the shows that are currently on television. I was excited to watch last night's episode.
And then it started. One of the main characters in the sitcom made a sandwich and on that sandwich was a burn pattern and in that burn pattern was a shadow of what some COULD say looked like Jesus. At first I thought it was amusing, wondering how they would carry this through the episode, but then the character started to pray to the grilled cheese sandwich, which he called "cheesus" (no, I am not kidding). Perhaps it was stupid of me, but I shrugged it off and continued to watch the show, again wondering where they were taking this story line. The character showed up to school the next day in class and wanted to have a week of religious songs. All of the other characters were up in arms. The division between school and state was brought into it. One student was atheist and when his father ended up in the hospital, he raged at his peers when they were praying for his father. The whole episode had the undertone and message that there is no god. While other religions were represented, in my opinion, the atheistic point of view had more weight to it. Needless to say, by the end of the show, I was questioning again. I already sensor pretty much most of what I watch, but am I going to have to cut out all forms of popular media?
"The old saying, 'The Lord is voting for me, and Lucifer is voting against me, but it's MY vote that counts,' describes a doctrinal certainty that our agency is more powerful than the adversary's will. Agency is precious. We can foolishly, blindly give it away, but it cannot be forcibly taken from us.
"There is also an age-old excuse: 'The devil made me do it.' Not so! He can deceive you and mislead you, but he does not have the power to force you or anyone else into transgression or to keep you there." ~ President Boyd K. Packer, 2010 General Conference
"Satan's increasing influence in the world is allowed to provide an atmosphere in which to prove ourselves. While he causes havoc today, Satan's final destiny was fixed by Jesus Christ through His Atonement and Resurrection. The devil will not triumph. Even now he must operate within bounds set by the Lord. He cannot take away any blessing that has been earned. He cannot alter character that has been woven from righteous decisions. He has no power to destroy the eternal bonds forged in a holy temple between a husband, wife and children. He cannot quench true faith. He cannot take away your testimony. Yes, these things can be lost by succumbing to his temptations. But he has no power in and of himself to destroy them." ~ Elder Richard G. Scott, 2010 General Conference
"An ever-present danger to the family is the onslaught of evil forces that seem to come from every direction. While our primary effort must be to seek light and truth, we would be wise to black out our homes from the lethal bombs that destroy spiritual development and growth. Pornography, in particular, is a weapon of mass moral destruction. It's impact is at the forefront in eroding moral values. Some TV programs and Internet site are equally lethal. These evil forces remove light and hope from the world. The level of decadence is accelerating. If we do not black out evil from our homes and lives, do not be surprised if devastating moral explosions shatter the peace which is the reward for righteous living. Our responsibility is to be in the world but not of the world." ~ Elder Quentin L. Cook, 2010 General Conference
Answers.
Truth of the matter is, it is getting harder to exsist in this world and not be of the world. It's going to get harder.
The last thought I have been having lately is: am I ashamed of God?
Those that know me, know that I am pretty much open to all people and will, for the most part, accept them for who they are, but that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I believe it.
Lately though, with being caught in the onslaught of others' thoughs of what is right and what is wrong in this world and how unfairly people are being treated in this area or that area, I have started to ask myself, why am I subjected to all their negativity about my religion and why is it wrong for me to post the things that I believe in? If I believe in God, should I not say so? If I feel inclined to post a particular scripture or religious quote, shouldn't I?
I would like very much to say that I am not ashamed of God, but the truth is that I have not behaved as though I weren't ashamed. In the past, if I wanted to post something, the first thing that would come to mind is my desire not to hurt or offend anyone's feelings. I don't want to step on toes. I want us all to get along, like we should.
...but there is a line out there in the sand somewhere...
If I am right, this blog, while not searchable, is not set to private, so there is the off chance that someone other that a friend or family member will read this. And there is a strong chance that they won't agree with something or all of which I have said. They may be upset.
But here it is:
I am not ashamed. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I know this gospel to be true. I believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet. I believe that the Book of Mormon is a true historical account. I believe that Jesus Christ is the Savior; that he broke the bonds of death; and that he lives even now. I believe that there is an afterlife. I believe that President Thomas S. Monson a prophet of God, chosen by God to lead this church. I support him as prophet, seer and revelator. I believe that President Uchtdorf and President Eyring were also chosen of God as were the other tweleve apostles. I believe the messages that they give us every General Conference are inspired of God and that they are for our benefit. I believe I am a daughter of God, that he knows me personally and that he loves me. I have a purpose.
I believe in God. I believe.
You may not like me now. You may not care. You may even delete me as a friend from Facebook. I will no longer live as though I am ashamed of my Savior.
And someday we will get to that line in the sand and when we do, you will know where I stand.
But I have to tell you, that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. It's teachings are true and the LDS beliefs have brought peace and happiness to my life! And it can do the same for yours too!
It's going to get harder...but I trust in the Lord.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
People watching...and other miscellaneous thoughts...
I am a people watcher. I do it both intentionally and unintentionally. I find entertainment in the things people do when no one is watching. Sometimes I find people to be funny, other times appalling, and others down right suspicious.
I went to Lagoon recently with a group of friends and had quite the selection of people to watch. There's nothing quite like a theme park for diversity in numbers. However, while I was watching, I realized that in truth, it shouldn't be called people watching, but more people judging. I almost hesitate to call it judging, because a good majority of the time, it's more me judging myself against them, and not judging them for who they are, but in the end, I am making a judgement about that person based off of merely their look and actions, so truly it is judging.
Being a larger than average girl (and before readers get their panties in a twist, I am sorry...being 5'10" and weighing what I do, does put me in the above average category), I tend to be harder on myself about my appearance. It's not a difficult thing to do when you feel like a giant stuck in the land of skinny-mini's.
However, after being at Lagoon for a full day, I started to really feel much better about my looks. Sure...it could have been the mass amounts of women wearing tube-tops (90% of which really SHOULDN'T have been allowed to wear them). For the first time in years, and perhaps not something I will do again for a while, I wore just my swimsuit while at Lagoona Beach. Why is that so odd, you say? Well, a) that's probably the most exposed I have been in public since I went through the temple in 2008, so it's been a couple years; b) I am a very white girl and due to said a), some areas are whiter than I remembered and c) normally, when venturing out in a swimsuit, I wear shorts and this time I opted not to.
At first, it was hard to walk around in the mass crowds of perfectly tan beauties that swarmed the park's beach resort. However, after the initial self-concious, self-censuring 20 minutes, I REALLY started to look around at all the women around me and noticed exactly just how many ladies really were "perfect". I realized that I was not alone, but rather, in good company. The women were in all shapes and sizes and all levels of perfection/imperfection. It was a rather fabulous realization that I was more similar than dissimilar to a good 80% (I like to make up random %, so just go with me) of the female population. I think in today's society, what with fashion magazines boasting airbrushed beauties, shows on television showing us what looks good and what not to wear, and movies that only cast super skinny heroines...it's hard for a girl to look in the mirror and think she's perfect just the way she is. I am sure that there were plenty of people there that wished I HAD worn more (if only to spare their eyes the strain from the glare), but most of them were in the same boat, so meh.
Other miscellaneous thoughts and slight judgements (the soap box moment continues):
I saw my first teen-lesbian couple. At first, I thought one was a dude and then I quickly realized that it was a girl. It reminded me of when I was a teen and me and my girl friends "married" each other, which was nothing more than female bonding over matching rings. Kinda different now.
I was amazed at the amount of kids that were tattooed. As someone who has a tattoo, I usually don't judge, but I couldn't help but notice how many teens were tatted up! Clearly, no doubt with programs like Miami Ink and L.A. Ink, the younger generations on this earth have decided that permanent color is their best friend. I was shocked at some of the artwork, not only for it's graphic nature, but for it's size! The hundreds of dollars spent! Again, I have a tattoo...so I don't have any room to really talk, however, if you change your style, hair or girlfriend more than once a quarter, you aren't old enough to drink or even rent a car, really...do you think that super sweet skeletal Elvis face in your half sleeve or the bloody gears under your flesh that take up 3/4 of your back will be your favorite in say 20 years?? And when you hate them...how will you cover up something that size?? My advise to all readers: Invest now in the tattoo removal business.
Where's the respect? Older generations of people, those that actually HAD manners, have seriously earned my respect! For heaven sake...if you are waiting in line, wait your turn! And Cross Walks were made to cross IN...not 20 feet to the left of them and when the car almost hits you, you throw your hands up in rude gestures.
The times....they are a changin'.
ok...soap box moment over
I went to Lagoon recently with a group of friends and had quite the selection of people to watch. There's nothing quite like a theme park for diversity in numbers. However, while I was watching, I realized that in truth, it shouldn't be called people watching, but more people judging. I almost hesitate to call it judging, because a good majority of the time, it's more me judging myself against them, and not judging them for who they are, but in the end, I am making a judgement about that person based off of merely their look and actions, so truly it is judging.
Being a larger than average girl (and before readers get their panties in a twist, I am sorry...being 5'10" and weighing what I do, does put me in the above average category), I tend to be harder on myself about my appearance. It's not a difficult thing to do when you feel like a giant stuck in the land of skinny-mini's.
However, after being at Lagoon for a full day, I started to really feel much better about my looks. Sure...it could have been the mass amounts of women wearing tube-tops (90% of which really SHOULDN'T have been allowed to wear them). For the first time in years, and perhaps not something I will do again for a while, I wore just my swimsuit while at Lagoona Beach. Why is that so odd, you say? Well, a) that's probably the most exposed I have been in public since I went through the temple in 2008, so it's been a couple years; b) I am a very white girl and due to said a), some areas are whiter than I remembered and c) normally, when venturing out in a swimsuit, I wear shorts and this time I opted not to.
At first, it was hard to walk around in the mass crowds of perfectly tan beauties that swarmed the park's beach resort. However, after the initial self-concious, self-censuring 20 minutes, I REALLY started to look around at all the women around me and noticed exactly just how many ladies really were "perfect". I realized that I was not alone, but rather, in good company. The women were in all shapes and sizes and all levels of perfection/imperfection. It was a rather fabulous realization that I was more similar than dissimilar to a good 80% (I like to make up random %, so just go with me) of the female population. I think in today's society, what with fashion magazines boasting airbrushed beauties, shows on television showing us what looks good and what not to wear, and movies that only cast super skinny heroines...it's hard for a girl to look in the mirror and think she's perfect just the way she is. I am sure that there were plenty of people there that wished I HAD worn more (if only to spare their eyes the strain from the glare), but most of them were in the same boat, so meh.
Other miscellaneous thoughts and slight judgements (the soap box moment continues):
I saw my first teen-lesbian couple. At first, I thought one was a dude and then I quickly realized that it was a girl. It reminded me of when I was a teen and me and my girl friends "married" each other, which was nothing more than female bonding over matching rings. Kinda different now.
I was amazed at the amount of kids that were tattooed. As someone who has a tattoo, I usually don't judge, but I couldn't help but notice how many teens were tatted up! Clearly, no doubt with programs like Miami Ink and L.A. Ink, the younger generations on this earth have decided that permanent color is their best friend. I was shocked at some of the artwork, not only for it's graphic nature, but for it's size! The hundreds of dollars spent! Again, I have a tattoo...so I don't have any room to really talk, however, if you change your style, hair or girlfriend more than once a quarter, you aren't old enough to drink or even rent a car, really...do you think that super sweet skeletal Elvis face in your half sleeve or the bloody gears under your flesh that take up 3/4 of your back will be your favorite in say 20 years?? And when you hate them...how will you cover up something that size?? My advise to all readers: Invest now in the tattoo removal business.
Where's the respect? Older generations of people, those that actually HAD manners, have seriously earned my respect! For heaven sake...if you are waiting in line, wait your turn! And Cross Walks were made to cross IN...not 20 feet to the left of them and when the car almost hits you, you throw your hands up in rude gestures.
The times....they are a changin'.
ok...soap box moment over
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Friendship is a sheltering tree. ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Why do I bring this up?
A little over a year and a half ago, I said the hardest "goodbye" I have ever had to make. I would love to say that was an exaggeration, but it really is not. I said "I'll write you" to my little brother, who was entering the MTC to begin his LDS Mission, which would take him to Mexico.
Again, why do I bring this up? This is not new news. You probably all remember me freaking out a little (or more than a little).
The reason is this:
Looking back at my life, there has always been a pattern, than only now, as I contemplate another goodbye, I see clearly. The pattern is my friends. The pattern is YOU. Yes...you. Clearly, I am speaking in multiple when I state "you", but basically, if YOU are reading this...then YOU are included in that YOU. Now that we are clear on that...let's move on.
I have always been a truly sentimental person. Growing up, I was never the life of the party, the popular girl or any of that and I had very few friends. But the friends that I did have, meant the world to me.
As my life fell apart around me, I took sanctuary in my friends. I lived for the moments that I could just spend time with my friends. For me, it was always the best of times.
And it fell apart again, and you were there to catch me.
And as my life felt like it was starting to fall apart when Trevor left, I once again took sanctuary in my friends.
One of my favorite sayings in this world is: Friends are relatives you make for yourself. ~Eustache Deschamps
I truly believe that line.
So what is it that I want to say with this post? What is it that drove me to open my computer and try to make something of the nonsensical emotions that I have?
I believe it is that I want YOU to know how much I needed you in my life! The greatness that you thought was your ordinary self...I NEEDED that in my life. You might think of it as a little blown out of proportion for me to say, "You saved my life", but I don't. For me it quite literally is the truth.
If I haven't told you...if I haven't shown you or expressed in some way how much the simple act of you being my friend, brother, sister, niece or nephew means to me, then I have sadly failed your kindness!
Some of you I have known forever, some a little longer than that and others not long at all, but it doesn't feel that way!
Do you remember the times we drove around late in the summer nights singing Oingo Boingo? Or waking up early to go and see the balloons launch for the 4th of July? Do you remember drawing pictures in your mom's new plush cream carpet with quarters? Do you remember that "Senior Sluff" day at Lagoon? Do you remember that crazy belly dancing routine we did with the key?
Do you remember watching the Simpsons every night on the VHS tape? Do you remember all the awesome times at Ihop? Or those crazy nights were we laughed till we cried at four in the morning? How about the time we got pulled over in Forks at 2am? Or drove out to La Push at 1am? Do you remember the crazy trades we made in Sunday Monopoly games because we got bored and "wanted to spice it up"?
Do you remember that time we stayed up talking about nothing and everything all at once? Do you remember how nice it was to have you as a "roommate" downstairs? Do you remember that time you let me cry on you when I couldn't stand it anymore? Do you remember our catch phrases, like "blowfish", "crabby patties", "brookitito burrito, nitto nacho girl and taco paco man" or "caddywhompus"?
Do you remember our trips? Star Valley, Moab, Washington, California...
Rock Band, Dance Recitals, Movie Night, Harry Potter Book Club, Ihop, that Chinese place that has those egg rolls that taste just like that other place that's closed now....
The Color Festivals, the princess breakfast and monster truck show...
The emails that we shared. Snowboarding and Arches? (bucket list items, btw)
The "Walmart fun" late at night, along with 3am Taco Bell runs.
Fantastic Mr. Fox. Om Shanti Om. Up. Wall-E. Across the Universe. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Love at Stake.
Do you remember all the good times at Yamato, Cafe Rio, Spicey Thai, Bombay House and Indian Palace, and Joe's? The little chinese place in Provo? Lots and lots of sushi??
Do you remember Blue October, TMBG, Tally Hall and Muse?
Do you remember that time we shot that huge gun and it was AWESOME??
I do.
So, even though there are some of you that I have drifted apart from, have only just met, will soon be saying "hello" to, or in Jeff's case, am sad to be saying goodbye to shortly....I have not forgotten one minute of it all!
My life has been altered by your presence. I am changed now. And I have YOU to thank for it.
Thank you for sharing your awesomeness with me!! Thank you letting me be a part of your life! Thank you for being a part of mine!!!
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~Albert Schweitzer
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. ~Dr. Seuss.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Lost...
I apologize (for anyone that actually does read the nonsense that I write) that I have not written in a while.
Truth of the matter is...I have lost my writing. I am not really sure where it went. I just don't have anything to write about.
Fear not. I am looking for it and, hopefully soon, it will re-emerge with plenty to say!
Hopefully...
Truth of the matter is...I have lost my writing. I am not really sure where it went. I just don't have anything to write about.
Fear not. I am looking for it and, hopefully soon, it will re-emerge with plenty to say!
Hopefully...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
HAPPY YEAR ONE!
One year down, one more to go till Elder Stevens gets home!
Time flew by, but I hope it flies faster!!!
Just had to share my joy!! :)
Cheers!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
2010: Year 29
Happy New Year! Another year come and gone, so it's time for a new list and a 2009 recap.
So here's the update on my resolutions at the beginning of 2009:
1) daily prayers and scripture reading. Fantastically enough, I am good on this one! Hooray for me!
2) daily gym attendance. Ha ha ha...another year where Gold's can laugh at me and say "you paid us for nothing!"
3) always looking at the great gifts in my life (possitive attitude). While I would LOVE to say that I had in fact been much more possitive, I am going to say I have been slightly more possitive this year. Stupid economy is also ruining my resolution list too!! Grrr....
4) attend the temple more. Yep, did more of that this year too!
5) find more opportunities to serve. Did more of this too, but there's always room to grow.
6) get out of debt. Ha ha ha....didn't do so hot on this one.
7) get my own place. See #3 - mention of economy ruining my resolution list.
8) open myself up to dating/relationships. I count this as achieved, even though I didn't make my quota of one date a year this year.
9) hug more. sadly, I sucked at this one. I don't like assuming I am welcome in someone's "bubble" without their promting. I have been sadly mistaken before.
10) forgive myself. I think I have done better with this one too.
11) have more confidence. yeah...still working on that one.
12) trust more. See #11.
So...what is my list this year? Well, there are several things I am going to keep; several things I am going to rededicate myself too...in short:
1) Continued prayer/scriptures daily
2) Attend the temple, if not once a week, at least twice a month
3) Make a real effort to attend all my church meetings and fullfill church callings to the fullest
4) Find more time to serve and look for those needing service
5) Get to the gym and eat healthier
6) Go back to school
7) Date
8) Be possitive, confident and trust
9) Try new things even if I am afraid to suck at them
10) Travel more
11) Stop caring what others think because life is too short
This is my shortlist for this year. I am sure as the year progresses, it will change and expand, because there are always things that can be made better; but for now, it will do.
So what did I do with 2009, you ask? Here's my look back:
I said goodbye to my best friend and have missed him everyday since. I have watched him grow in the Lord, been impressed by his spirit, reminded that he's a man, and influenced by his example. One year down...one to go! (I LIVED!!! Unbelievably enough...)
I took a photography class, just sure that I was meant to be some natural prodigy at captivating the beauty this world has to offer. Sadly...I didn't do that well and I don't remember much of the class. I may have to pursue a more studious course, over a longer period of time, where it will have a greater chance to sink in to my thick skull.
I celebrated or scoffed at my 28th birthday. A little of both I think.
I traveled to Denver to visit with my Grandma, whom I don't get to see as often as I should.
I traveled to Alamosa to visit my Grandpa and spend some much needed quality time with him. I shared with him a movie montage of his life that I compiled and told him how much I love him. I am grateful that his health and my Grandma's health improved!
I traveled, yet again, to Forks, WA with my dear friends and had a great time! What a beautiful place. I may go back, because there are still places I would like to have seen there, but I think I will look for something new and different this year.
Again, I watched movies I never would have dreamed of, thanks to movie nights with Jeff. Logged plenty of hours playing rock band too. Enjoyed the office with the "gang" every week and even bought the previous seasons so that I could catch up on what I had missed in the earlier years.
I hung out with my nieces and nephews, who are probably the coolest people around! Since they moved so far away I have missed them so much and it was awesome to spend time with them this summer!
I danced! In January, along with taking the photography class, I also took a Belly Dancing class. I LOVED it! In fact, I loved it so much....I joined Desert Gypsy Dance Company and performed from July through November with a wonderful group of ladies and have made some really great friends! While I might not be the best there is, I don't mind, because I am still doing it and it is still making me happy.
I was a Vamp-Pirate for halloween.
I volunteered for the New Moon Event.
I knitted, crocheted, and shrinky-dinked to my hearts content.
I started re-reading Harry Potter with a couple of good friends.
I dyed a big blond "punk stripe" in my hair for giggles. Figured I better do it before I got too old to know better...
I rocked out at not one, but two different concerts and loved it all! (Hooray for TMBG & Tally Hall!)
I laughed...and I cried.
I lost 18 lbs.....
...I gained six back....lol
I did it my way.
So what do I have planned for the big 2010??
There are a couple of things on my radar: snowboarding for the first time (maybe...lol), the Muse concert in April and more Belly Dancing. Possibly a night class here or there...
I don't have any real plans yet though, and that is ok. I am excited to see where 2010 goes, who I meet, where I am lead and what great things I will have to write about next year.
I just want to say thank you to all the great people who fill up my life and make the journey worthwhile. I can honestly say that I couldn't have done without all of you!
May 2010 bring you the very best that this life has to offer and more!!
So here's the update on my resolutions at the beginning of 2009:
1) daily prayers and scripture reading. Fantastically enough, I am good on this one! Hooray for me!
2) daily gym attendance. Ha ha ha...another year where Gold's can laugh at me and say "you paid us for nothing!"
3) always looking at the great gifts in my life (possitive attitude). While I would LOVE to say that I had in fact been much more possitive, I am going to say I have been slightly more possitive this year. Stupid economy is also ruining my resolution list too!! Grrr....
4) attend the temple more. Yep, did more of that this year too!
5) find more opportunities to serve. Did more of this too, but there's always room to grow.
6) get out of debt. Ha ha ha....didn't do so hot on this one.
7) get my own place. See #3 - mention of economy ruining my resolution list.
8) open myself up to dating/relationships. I count this as achieved, even though I didn't make my quota of one date a year this year.
9) hug more. sadly, I sucked at this one. I don't like assuming I am welcome in someone's "bubble" without their promting. I have been sadly mistaken before.
10) forgive myself. I think I have done better with this one too.
11) have more confidence. yeah...still working on that one.
12) trust more. See #11.
So...what is my list this year? Well, there are several things I am going to keep; several things I am going to rededicate myself too...in short:
1) Continued prayer/scriptures daily
2) Attend the temple, if not once a week, at least twice a month
3) Make a real effort to attend all my church meetings and fullfill church callings to the fullest
4) Find more time to serve and look for those needing service
5) Get to the gym and eat healthier
6) Go back to school
7) Date
8) Be possitive, confident and trust
9) Try new things even if I am afraid to suck at them
10) Travel more
11) Stop caring what others think because life is too short
This is my shortlist for this year. I am sure as the year progresses, it will change and expand, because there are always things that can be made better; but for now, it will do.
So what did I do with 2009, you ask? Here's my look back:
I said goodbye to my best friend and have missed him everyday since. I have watched him grow in the Lord, been impressed by his spirit, reminded that he's a man, and influenced by his example. One year down...one to go! (I LIVED!!! Unbelievably enough...)
I took a photography class, just sure that I was meant to be some natural prodigy at captivating the beauty this world has to offer. Sadly...I didn't do that well and I don't remember much of the class. I may have to pursue a more studious course, over a longer period of time, where it will have a greater chance to sink in to my thick skull.
I celebrated or scoffed at my 28th birthday. A little of both I think.
I traveled to Denver to visit with my Grandma, whom I don't get to see as often as I should.
I traveled to Alamosa to visit my Grandpa and spend some much needed quality time with him. I shared with him a movie montage of his life that I compiled and told him how much I love him. I am grateful that his health and my Grandma's health improved!
I traveled, yet again, to Forks, WA with my dear friends and had a great time! What a beautiful place. I may go back, because there are still places I would like to have seen there, but I think I will look for something new and different this year.
Again, I watched movies I never would have dreamed of, thanks to movie nights with Jeff. Logged plenty of hours playing rock band too. Enjoyed the office with the "gang" every week and even bought the previous seasons so that I could catch up on what I had missed in the earlier years.
I hung out with my nieces and nephews, who are probably the coolest people around! Since they moved so far away I have missed them so much and it was awesome to spend time with them this summer!
I danced! In January, along with taking the photography class, I also took a Belly Dancing class. I LOVED it! In fact, I loved it so much....I joined Desert Gypsy Dance Company and performed from July through November with a wonderful group of ladies and have made some really great friends! While I might not be the best there is, I don't mind, because I am still doing it and it is still making me happy.
I was a Vamp-Pirate for halloween.
I volunteered for the New Moon Event.
I knitted, crocheted, and shrinky-dinked to my hearts content.
I started re-reading Harry Potter with a couple of good friends.
I dyed a big blond "punk stripe" in my hair for giggles. Figured I better do it before I got too old to know better...
I rocked out at not one, but two different concerts and loved it all! (Hooray for TMBG & Tally Hall!)
I laughed...and I cried.
I lost 18 lbs.....
...I gained six back....lol
I did it my way.
So what do I have planned for the big 2010??
There are a couple of things on my radar: snowboarding for the first time (maybe...lol), the Muse concert in April and more Belly Dancing. Possibly a night class here or there...
I don't have any real plans yet though, and that is ok. I am excited to see where 2010 goes, who I meet, where I am lead and what great things I will have to write about next year.
I just want to say thank you to all the great people who fill up my life and make the journey worthwhile. I can honestly say that I couldn't have done without all of you!
May 2010 bring you the very best that this life has to offer and more!!
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