As I was showering this morning, I was reflecting on my life and a few things, which is normal for me, and I started to think of the movie "Runaway Bride" starring Julia Roberts. As I started to think about this movie, I wondered just how much like her I am.
Clearly, I haven't run from marriage....but I almost did once. The day I got married, my nerves were shot and right about the time the fire alarm starting going off in the church, I was ready to bolt for the door. There was about 10 minutes there, where I was mostly unsupervised, and I could have done it. Haha...but that is not what this blog is about.
This blog is about how much of myself I change for another person.
I past relationships, I have taken on the passions of the guys that I have dated, claiming them as my own. Now, if this was due to me not knowing myself or if it was more just to see if I also liked those things, I am not sure. What I am sure about is that in the past, I have watched my fair share of WWE wrestling, Hockey, and hunting videos to last me a lifetime. (If I had to go Turkey hunting now, I think I could manage just fine)
I can camp with the best of them now, out in the boonies. I know how to fix a great deal of things that a normal girl wouldn't have the first clue on (a point that causes me great frustration when they don't know how to do these things on their own. I want to look at them and say "power tools, you can use them too you know...").
But at the end of the day, when the hockey game comes on or I am flipping through the channels, am I going to pick the hunting, or the WWE? No, probably not. In truth, they aren't my cup of tea.
So my question is again, how much of my likes are mine and how much of them are theirs?
Since I have been alone for the past four years, I have started to ferret out exactly what my likes are and learn more and more of myself in the process. It has been a really healthy thing.
So here's what I have come up with:
I am not a big fan of wrestling. It is a cruel sport (the real one) in which men beat mercilessly on themselves, till they cause irreparable damage to their bodies. As for the WWE thing...give me a break. Isn't Nova on or something?
Hunting...well, as far as hunting goes, I don't mind it. I understand the need for it. I think you can gain a better appreciation of an animal that you respect and admire. However, I don't believe I will ever have a "mount" on my wall.
Guns...always a good thing to know about. I personally like them. Nothing quite like taking frustrations out on a pack of clay pigeons!
Camping...I prefer to go camping somewhere partially groomed that has some form of "facilities" attached. But, if necessary, I can be boonie girl if required.
Football...or sports in general, really. Having never been the best at ANY sport, I don't really enjoy watching or playing for that matter. I can watch if I must, but not every night all night long. Again, Nova anyone? Or perhaps Are You Being Served?
I don't like horror movies, especially the ones with the ghosts. I don't like ghosts.
I don't like horrible heavy music, where the lead singer is blurting out cuss word after cuss word, but you can't tell because it isn't decipherable anyway.
Travel...I like traveling. I enjoy going new places and having adventures. It is something I hope to do more of.
These are just a few of the things that I have figured out on my own. There are more, but time constraints don't allow for a more thorough review.
I will say this though, it would seem pretty clear that I am not afraid to try out the likes of the guy I date. There are several things that I have liked because of them and kept.
At the end of the day, I think it is all about balance. Trying out new things and being able to retain the things that you truly enjoy, without losing yourself in them and not truly knowing thyself.
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