People watching...and other miscellaneous thoughts...

I am a people watcher. I do it both intentionally and unintentionally. I find entertainment in the things people do when no one is watching. Sometimes I find people to be funny, other times appalling, and others down right suspicious.

I went to Lagoon recently with a group of friends and had quite the selection of people to watch. There's nothing quite like a theme park for diversity in numbers. However, while I was watching, I realized that in truth, it shouldn't be called people watching, but more people judging. I almost hesitate to call it judging, because a good majority of the time, it's more me judging myself against them, and not judging them for who they are, but in the end, I am making a judgement about that person based off of merely their look and actions, so truly it is judging.


Being a larger than average girl (and before readers get their panties in a twist, I am sorry...being 5'10" and weighing what I do, does put me in the above average category), I tend to be harder on myself about my appearance. It's not a difficult thing to do when you feel like a giant stuck in the land of skinny-mini's.


However, after being at Lagoon for a full day, I started to really feel much better about my looks. Sure...it could have been the mass amounts of women wearing tube-tops (90% of which really SHOULDN'T have been allowed to wear them). For the first time in years, and perhaps not something I will do again for a while, I wore just my swimsuit while at Lagoona Beach. Why is that so odd, you say? Well, a) that's probably the most exposed I have been in public since I went through the temple in 2008, so it's been a couple years; b) I am a very white girl and due to said a), some areas are whiter than I remembered and c) normally, when venturing out in a swimsuit, I wear shorts and this time I opted not to.


At first, it was hard to walk around in the mass crowds of perfectly tan beauties that swarmed the park's beach resort. However, after the initial self-concious, self-censuring 20 minutes, I REALLY started to look around at all the women around me and noticed exactly just how many ladies really were "perfect". I realized that I was not alone, but rather, in good company. The women were in all shapes and sizes and all levels of perfection/imperfection. It was a rather fabulous realization that I was more similar than dissimilar to a good 80% (I like to make up random %, so just go with me) of the female population. I think in today's society, what with fashion magazines boasting airbrushed beauties, shows on television showing us what looks good and what not to wear, and movies that only cast super skinny heroines...it's hard for a girl to look in the mirror and think she's perfect just the way she is. I am sure that there were plenty of people there that wished I HAD worn more (if only to spare their eyes the strain from the glare), but most of them were in the same boat, so meh.


Other miscellaneous thoughts and slight judgements (the soap box moment continues):


I saw my first teen-lesbian couple. At first, I thought one was a dude and then I quickly realized that it was a girl. It reminded me of when I was a teen and me and my girl friends "married" each other, which was nothing more than female bonding over matching rings. Kinda different now.


I was amazed at the amount of kids that were tattooed. As someone who has a tattoo, I usually don't judge, but I couldn't help but notice how many teens were tatted up! Clearly, no doubt with programs like Miami Ink and L.A. Ink, the younger generations on this earth have decided that permanent color is their best friend. I was shocked at some of the artwork, not only for it's graphic nature, but for it's size! The hundreds of dollars spent! Again, I have a tattoo...so I don't have any room to really talk, however, if you change your style, hair or girlfriend more than once a quarter, you aren't old enough to drink or even rent a car, really...do you think that super sweet skeletal Elvis face in your half sleeve or the bloody gears under your flesh that take up 3/4 of your back will be your favorite in say 20 years?? And when you hate them...how will you cover up something that size?? My advise to all readers: Invest now in the tattoo removal business.


Where's the respect? Older generations of people, those that actually HAD manners, have seriously earned my respect! For heaven sake...if you are waiting in line, wait your turn! And Cross Walks were made to cross IN...not 20 feet to the left of them and when the car almost hits you, you throw your hands up in rude gestures.

The times....they are a changin'.

ok...soap box moment over

Friendship is a sheltering tree. ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I have been saying a lot of goodbyes lately. Not all are "goodbyes". There have been a lot of "I'll see you soon" and "I'll come visit", but really, they are in the same category.

Why do I bring this up?

A little over a year and a half ago, I said the hardest "goodbye" I have ever had to make. I would love to say that was an exaggeration, but it really is not. I said "I'll write you" to my little brother, who was entering the MTC to begin his LDS Mission, which would take him to Mexico.

Again, why do I bring this up? This is not new news. You probably all remember me freaking out a little (or more than a little).

The reason is this:

Looking back at my life, there has always been a pattern, than only now, as I contemplate another goodbye, I see clearly. The pattern is my friends. The pattern is YOU. Yes...you. Clearly, I am speaking in multiple when I state "you", but basically, if YOU are reading this...then YOU are included in that YOU. Now that we are clear on that...let's move on.

I have always been a truly sentimental person. Growing up, I was never the life of the party, the popular girl or any of that and I had very few friends. But the friends that I did have, meant the world to me.

As my life fell apart around me, I took sanctuary in my friends. I lived for the moments that I could just spend time with my friends. For me, it was always the best of times.

And it fell apart again, and you were there to catch me.

And as my life felt like it was starting to fall apart when Trevor left, I once again took sanctuary in my friends.

One of my favorite sayings in this world is: Friends are relatives you make for yourself. ~Eustache Deschamps

I truly believe that line.

So what is it that I want to say with this post? What is it that drove me to open my computer and try to make something of the nonsensical emotions that I have?

I believe it is that I want YOU to know how much I needed you in my life! The greatness that you thought was your ordinary self...I NEEDED that in my life. You might think of it as a little blown out of proportion for me to say, "You saved my life", but I don't. For me it quite literally is the truth.

If I haven't told you...if I haven't shown you or expressed in some way how much the simple act of you being my friend, brother, sister, niece or nephew means to me, then I have sadly failed your kindness!

Some of you I have known forever, some a little longer than that and others not long at all, but it doesn't feel that way!

Do you remember the times we drove around late in the summer nights singing Oingo Boingo? Or waking up early to go and see the balloons launch for the 4th of July? Do you remember drawing pictures in your mom's new plush cream carpet with quarters? Do you remember that "Senior Sluff" day at Lagoon? Do you remember that crazy belly dancing routine we did with the key?

Do you remember watching the Simpsons every night on the VHS tape? Do you remember all the awesome times at Ihop? Or those crazy nights were we laughed till we cried at four in the morning? How about the time we got pulled over in Forks at 2am? Or drove out to La Push at 1am? Do you remember the crazy trades we made in Sunday Monopoly games because we got bored and "wanted to spice it up"?

Do you remember that time we stayed up talking about nothing and everything all at once? Do you remember how nice it was to have you as a "roommate" downstairs? Do you remember that time you let me cry on you when I couldn't stand it anymore? Do you remember our catch phrases, like "blowfish", "crabby patties", "brookitito burrito, nitto nacho girl and taco paco man" or "caddywhompus"?

Do you remember our trips? Star Valley, Moab, Washington, California...

Rock Band, Dance Recitals, Movie Night, Harry Potter Book Club, Ihop, that Chinese place that has those egg rolls that taste just like that other place that's closed now....

The Color Festivals, the princess breakfast and monster truck show...

The emails that we shared. Snowboarding and Arches? (bucket list items, btw)

The "Walmart fun" late at night, along with 3am Taco Bell runs.

Fantastic Mr. Fox. Om Shanti Om. Up. Wall-E. Across the Universe. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Love at Stake.

Do you remember all the good times at Yamato, Cafe Rio, Spicey Thai, Bombay House and Indian Palace, and Joe's? The little chinese place in Provo? Lots and lots of sushi??

Do you remember Blue October, TMBG, Tally Hall and Muse?

Do you remember that time we shot that huge gun and it was AWESOME??

I do.

So, even though there are some of you that I have drifted apart from, have only just met, will soon be saying "hello" to, or in Jeff's case, am sad to be saying goodbye to shortly....I have not forgotten one minute of it all!

My life has been altered by your presence. I am changed now. And I have YOU to thank for it.

Thank you for sharing your awesomeness with me!! Thank you letting me be a part of your life! Thank you for being a part of mine!!!

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~Albert Schweitzer

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. ~Dr. Seuss.

Lost...

I apologize (for anyone that actually does read the nonsense that I write) that I have not written in a while.

Truth of the matter is...I have lost my writing. I am not really sure where it went. I just don't have anything to write about.

Fear not. I am looking for it and, hopefully soon, it will re-emerge with plenty to say!

Hopefully...

HAPPY YEAR ONE!

One year down, one more to go till Elder Stevens gets home!

Time flew by, but I hope it flies faster!!!

Just had to share my joy!! :)

Cheers!

2010: Year 29

Happy New Year! Another year come and gone, so it's time for a new list and a 2009 recap.

So here's the update on my resolutions at the beginning of 2009:
1) daily prayers and scripture reading. Fantastically enough, I am good on this one! Hooray for me!

2) daily gym attendance. Ha ha ha...another year where Gold's can laugh at me and say "you paid us for nothing!"

3) always looking at the great gifts in my life (possitive attitude). While I would LOVE to say that I had in fact been much more possitive, I am going to say I have been slightly more possitive this year. Stupid economy is also ruining my resolution list too!! Grrr....

4) attend the temple more. Yep, did more of that this year too!

5) find more opportunities to serve. Did more of this too, but there's always room to grow.

6) get out of debt. Ha ha ha....didn't do so hot on this one.

7) get my own place. See #3 - mention of economy ruining my resolution list.

8) open myself up to dating/relationships. I count this as achieved, even though I didn't make my quota of one date a year this year.

9) hug more. sadly, I sucked at this one. I don't like assuming I am welcome in someone's "bubble" without their promting. I have been sadly mistaken before.

10) forgive myself. I think I have done better with this one too.

11) have more confidence. yeah...still working on that one.

12) trust more. See #11.



So...what is my list this year? Well, there are several things I am going to keep; several things I am going to rededicate myself too...in short:

1) Continued prayer/scriptures daily

2) Attend the temple, if not once a week, at least twice a month

3) Make a real effort to attend all my church meetings and fullfill church callings to the fullest

4) Find more time to serve and look for those needing service

5) Get to the gym and eat healthier

6) Go back to school

7) Date

8) Be possitive, confident and trust

9) Try new things even if I am afraid to suck at them

10) Travel more

11) Stop caring what others think because life is too short


This is my shortlist for this year. I am sure as the year progresses, it will change and expand, because there are always things that can be made better; but for now, it will do.



So what did I do with 2009, you ask? Here's my look back:



I said goodbye to my best friend and have missed him everyday since. I have watched him grow in the Lord, been impressed by his spirit, reminded that he's a man, and influenced by his example. One year down...one to go! (I LIVED!!! Unbelievably enough...)


I took a photography class, just sure that I was meant to be some natural prodigy at captivating the beauty this world has to offer. Sadly...I didn't do that well and I don't remember much of the class. I may have to pursue a more studious course, over a longer period of time, where it will have a greater chance to sink in to my thick skull.


I celebrated or scoffed at my 28th birthday. A little of both I think.


I traveled to Denver to visit with my Grandma, whom I don't get to see as often as I should.

I traveled to Alamosa to visit my Grandpa and spend some much needed quality time with him. I shared with him a movie montage of his life that I compiled and told him how much I love him. I am grateful that his health and my Grandma's health improved!


I traveled, yet again, to Forks, WA with my dear friends and had a great time! What a beautiful place. I may go back, because there are still places I would like to have seen there, but I think I will look for something new and different this year.

Again, I watched movies I never would have dreamed of, thanks to movie nights with Jeff. Logged plenty of hours playing rock band too. Enjoyed the office with the "gang" every week and even bought the previous seasons so that I could catch up on what I had missed in the earlier years.

I hung out with my nieces and nephews, who are probably the coolest people around! Since they moved so far away I have missed them so much and it was awesome to spend time with them this summer!

I danced! In January, along with taking the photography class, I also took a Belly Dancing class. I LOVED it! In fact, I loved it so much....I joined Desert Gypsy Dance Company and performed from July through November with a wonderful group of ladies and have made some really great friends! While I might not be the best there is, I don't mind, because I am still doing it and it is still making me happy.

I was a Vamp-Pirate for halloween.
I volunteered for the New Moon Event.
I knitted, crocheted, and shrinky-dinked to my hearts content.
I started re-reading Harry Potter with a couple of good friends.
I dyed a big blond "punk stripe" in my hair for giggles. Figured I better do it before I got too old to know better...

I rocked out at not one, but two different concerts and loved it all! (Hooray for TMBG & Tally Hall!)

I laughed...and I cried.
I lost 18 lbs.....
...I gained six back....lol


I did it my way.


So what do I have planned for the big 2010??

There are a couple of things on my radar: snowboarding for the first time (maybe...lol), the Muse concert in April and more Belly Dancing. Possibly a night class here or there...

I don't have any real plans yet though, and that is ok. I am excited to see where 2010 goes, who I meet, where I am lead and what great things I will have to write about next year.

I just want to say thank you to all the great people who fill up my life and make the journey worthwhile. I can honestly say that I couldn't have done without all of you!

May 2010 bring you the very best that this life has to offer and more!!

Ode to Barnes & Noble...

I have often been told that I write well. And I've often been told that you can only do what you know how to do well...(nod to TMBG...moving on)

Not having any particular reason or direction, I stumbled into Barnes & Noble and lunch accompanied by my co-workers today. I am usually much smarter than just trying to walk into this store without a direct purpose or benefactor, but today it would appear that my intelligence has taken a vacation and someone else seems to be at the "wheel".

I has headed in two different sections when we entered. The first was to the "classical" section and the second was to the "crafts/arts" section. I wanted to hit the classical section, because let's face it, after a weekend of Jane Austen...I daresay I was entranced by the mirth of a generation long past and would gladly have continued walking in their carefree adventures much longer than I should admit, if only I were allowed to.

I wanted to hit the crafts section, because I am in great need of another pattern for crochet. (Not even close, but yeah...it could happen)

Before I made any progress in any direction, however, I was presented with a book that one of my co-worker/friend had found over the weekend and I was completely drawn in. It was quick, it was witty,... it was semi-original!

The book, nightlight, is about a girl that moves to a small town with a vampire problem. Hmmm...this sounds vaguely familiar. I flipped over to the back cover and read the quick synopsis. In short: The book is a fabulous parody of Twilight. I don't think I have laughed so hard in a long time. I look forward to reading all the way through it.

Looking for other possible gems in reading, we headed to the "teen" section, where, if you can believe it or not, there are other vampire books. In fact, now that I think of it...it might have been the "teen-vampire" section since books of other variety were scarce. I picked up book after book and was surprised to find out exactly just how many teenage girls are out there that are being stalked/dated by vampires. I feel slighted.

Standing there, in front of the "I'm looking to be a vampire sacrifice" section, the thought occurred to me, as it often does, the original thought is in fact, dead. No one out there has a story of their own creation and if they do, they don't get to keep it long, because someone will come out of the woodworking with some attempt at a knock off shortly after the original hits the shelf.

It reminds me a lot of what my friend, Jeff, recently posted on his blog. While his blog was more about the technical aspects of TV ratios and correlations with Bluray movies...or something like that...(Yes...I just butchered his blog. My apologies, Jeff. I did TRY to understand. Lol) he touched on a fact that people these days no longer care. They don't stop to consider if they SHOULD just because they COULD. "Should I write a novel that is 99% similar to this other novel? Why yes! I think I shall!" So they crank out some crap-tastic version of the original story and some small publishing house says "hey...why not" and thus you get a shelf wallpapered with "Suck-tabulous" spellbinding tales of love and death, which I am sure all all wonderful reads.

Right...

I shouldn't be surprised though, you see this "originality" everywhere you go! In fact, the pattern that I was looking for in the crafts/arts section was an ear muff cover that I had seen sold in Buckle...or some other store like that...and I thought, I can make that! Ta da! My own knock off!

But I digress....or at least I should, considering the different directions this post has taken.

One of the points in writing this was to say, sure, someone, or even someones, have told me that I should write, because I am good at it. Well, standing in the entrance of Barnes and Noble, staring and shelf after shelf of both original and unoriginal ideas, I realized that the authors who wrote those books, also had people at home telling them they should write. 99% of those people are crap-tastic. Until I get a very original idea...I don't think I will get around to writing.

So what did I end up purchasing, you ask? Well, Nightlight by The Harvard Lampoon, a Tokidoki calendar (my fave and hopefully a future post), a magnetic poetry calendar and a Japanese style sketch book. Oh you didn't know I sketched?? ...yeah, I don't...or not yet anyway...

You have to love Barnes & Noble....the Walmart of the literary world.

Hey...I enjoy a good jest too...

For those of you who think I may be a little too serious about my "Twilight" thing...

....I present a parody that I really enjoyed. (sorry it is so long)

If only life could always be made into a music video...



I think the girl that made that is really talented! Lol.

And an additional parody...for all my "Snack boxes" out there! "My Snack!"



Ah...the one that started it all....hahaha! "Who shut that?!"

I know there are so many to choose from...but those are a couple of my favorites!

Where's the music??

Normally, when you come to my blog, I have music that just starts up on it's own. Well, lately, it has been bothering me that it is the same 'ol thing it has been since forever, so I took it off. I am going to be updating soon with newer music selections, but no guarantees when that will come to fruition.

For now, if you scroll to the bottom of the blog, there is a music player there, but you have to press play in order for it to begin.

If you like.

Just Saying.

Joy...thy name is muppet...

Weekend Report...part 1

Well ladies & gents, the time has come for me to give my report. After having a good deal of sleep and food, I am now better in charge of my faculties to try and give my unbiased (or partially unbiased) opinion of the movie The Twilight Saga: New Moon and the New Moon Experience.

I think the best place to start is going to be the movie.

So here's my review of the movie:

All in all, I liked it. (I know...you are shocked)
Here's a few of the reasons why:
Bella's blinking issue has apparently gone away, as has her incessant stuttering issue, which prevented her from stringing two words together coherently.
The vampires look more like vampires....in that they are slightly more unsettling when looking at them. You know there is something off...but putting your finger on it is the tough part...until it's too late.
The world does not come in different shades of blue, but rather the entire color spectrum.
The dialog is easier.
The music flows well with the story and is almost a character in itself (in some places) that describes exactly what is going on.
The action in the movie is stellar and adds so much.

Now, I must state that all of this is based off of only one showing. I know, I know...you cannot believe that I didn't see it five times in a twenty-four hour period like I did last year. Sadly, a rather unpleasant sinus infection, coupled with an incredibly sore body that was the result of a fabulous dance party, limited my capabilities for multiple views. This is something I hope to remedy shortly.

I think the new director has made a world of difference. The acting was tremendously better and I am a firm believer that bad acting is a result of bad directing, so a new director would explain the improvement there. The story was a bit rushed, and if you aren't well versed in what is going on, you might want to get a run down from someone who does prior to seeing the flick, so that your enjoyment may be enhanced. However, a rushed storyline is to be expected since there is a lot to get through in a short amount of time. I struggled in parts to connect with the angst of the characters and I believe that is in part to the rush of the story and part due to the acting. Seeing as how I am not an actor though, and not trying to please countless extremely picky fans, I will try and cut the actors some slack.

I went to the midnight opening show with my good girlfriends of the NRG. We were in a theater that Events By Alice rented out and it was packed with fellow Twilightmoms. I love experiencing the movie for the first time in this type of environment, because your emotions tend to feed, even subconsciously, off of the emotions of others around you also viewing it for the first time. It's a cool experience.

While I was pleased with the first movie when it first debut, I have picked it apart with the strictest of critics since then, and believe me...we do a much tougher job than riff tracks any day, and I still like it. I don't expect this to be much different. I will always like the movie, but at some point, I wouldn't doubt that I will have a list of flaws or "cheese" issues that I wish were fixed.

All in all, the plot was easier to follow, the colors better, better action, and was the acting better. The CGI was improved as well, and while it still left something to be desired when the vampires are in the sun, the wolf transformations and action sequences were tremendous.

I left the movie encouraged and excited to see the next installment, which I found out to my great pleasure, will be in June. I just hope the new director for that film, David Slade (who was the director of 30 Days of Night, a horror flick), will do a great job as well.

The box office results and comparisons (as reported on Twilightmoms.com last night):

Midnight Showings:
Twilight - $7 Million
New Moon - $26.2 Million

Opening Day:
Twilight - $35.7 Million
New Moon - $72.7 Million

Opening Weekend:
Twilight (US & Canada) - $69.7 Million (3,419 theaters)
New Moon (US & Canada) - $140.7 Million (4,024 theaters)


New Moon's opening weekend has earned it a place in entertainment history. EW's Box Office Report is reporting that New Moon grossed an estimated $140.7 million at the box office this weekend and is now "the biggest autumn opening weekend in history and the third biggest three day debut ever." And New Moon is ranked third in overall opening weekend rankings, just behind The Dark Knight and Spider Man 3.

Worldwide estimates are that New Moon's opening weekend box office totals are around $258.8 million. Twilight's total worldwide gross was $383.5 million. In one weekend, New Moon has brought in over 67% of Twilight's total box office sales.

And keep in mind, Twilight's opening weekend accounted for 36% of it's total sales. If that trend continues, New Moon could be on it's way to grossing over $300 million domestically (Twilight's domestic total was $192.7), not to mention the worldwide totals added in there.

Told you so...

Last Friday night I had the pleasure of going to see They Might Be Giants in concert. Aside from some pain in my neck, it was a relatively enjoyable experience.

They Might Be Giants have always been a near & dear band that is close to my heart ever since I have listened to them back in Junior High.

As the band began to play the entirety of the Flood album that they had put out nearly 20 years ago, I closed my eyes and swayed to the music. I didn't see or feel the crowds of people all around me.

I was taken back to another time and place:

Hot summer nights, riding in the back of Spencer's truck.
Playing kick-the-can (or rather touch-the-can, since it was a large garbage can) in the duck park, and savoring the rush of adrenaline, I watched the others run from their hiding places, as I crouched in the dense undergrowth that was my hiding place.
Standing next to the train tracks with my arms held wide, as the train flew by, loud and threatening.
Making wish after wish on shooting stars.
My first kiss from my first love.
Late nights in the drive through of Taco Bell as we discussed the whereabouts of the stray cat who used to always be in the parking lot. We took bets on who's food he'd ended up in.
The Simpsons reruns late at night. They were just as good then.
My hand in his and feeling so small...

The music thumped my past life into the present, while I breathed deeply the mist from the fog machine and watched as the confetti fell from the ceiling. My memories and I danced together...


One of the benefits of going to a live concert is, aside from getting to see a band you really enjoy, is getting to experience new music.

The Guggenheim Grotto went on before They Might Be Giants and unlike all previous experiences, I was a little prepared for their sound and feel. I had the forethought to look up who was opening for TMBG and then went to TGG's website and listened to their music. From what I heard I liked.

Hearing them on stage though was quite a treat. Originally from Ireland, their music was full of great harmonies and ballads. I bought both of their cds and the couple of songs that weren't on the cds from itunes. So far, I have not regretted the decision at all. More than one of their songs has struck a chord with me and I would like to share one of my favorites. I hope you like it too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdAu2MFf1EE

The Guggenheim Grotto
Told You So

When the world is wide, wicked and wild
and watching my every move
I gather thoughts of you and that's what lovers do.

You've said before every act is a war
and every shade, just another shade of blue
you'd have me walk with you and that's what lovers do

Told you so, I'm in love with you...
told you so and I bet you love me too...

When you go walking away with the wind and the waves and
flirting with your feet,
you take a part of me and that's what lovers feel

And when you come upon a time and place sublime and it
shows you something real
you with me there to see and that's what lovers feel

Told you so, I'm in love with you...
told you so and I bet you love me too...

At a party I've thrown the morning has grown and
someone's going your way
you tell them you'd rather stay and that's what lovers say

So to the garden we go, quiet and slow and we
watch the world awake
you know I love you for loves sake, isn't that what lovers say?

Told you so, I'm in love with you...
told you so and I bet you love me too...

And the beat goes on...

As many of you know, I am a Belly Dancer for Gypsy Dance Company and I love it! For the past six weeks or so, I have been participating in a belly dancing technique class, because the regular dancing season ended at the beginning of September and I just couldn't get enough. This was a two hour class, the first hour being technique training and the second hour rehearsing a number for out upcoming Gypsy Tapestry Formal Event.



Last night was the Gypsy Tapestry Formal Event and the last performance of the season for Desert Gypsy Dance Company. We performed at Covey Center for the Arts in Provo with different belly dancing companies from around the area, for a fairly large crowd of people.



There are several reasons that I can think of that make me like belly dancing, but I think one of the biggest reasons is the camaraderie. The feeling of acceptance. There really is no feeling of competition or rivalry, even amongst the different troupes from different areas. We are all different. We are all shaped different, dance different, have different talents, dress differently and yet, as one group performs, another group is usually waiting in the wings for their turn and cheering on the performers. We can appreciate each other for who we really are and encourage each other regardless of all conditions. We are all like one big family...who all happen to like to shake their stuff on stage! Hahaha.



It was good to be back on a stage again. I haven't been on a stage since high school. Even though I have never been to the Covey Center for the Arts, I couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia as I wrapped my hand around the rope of the fly, or darted in and out of the legs and narrowly avoided the cyc. The lights, the music, the markers on the stage floor...all of it, was like coming home in a way, and yet completely different, because I had never been here before.



In the past, I had never been the performer really, I was always the girl behind the scenes, with her headset on, making fun of the stressed out dancers as they darted around worrying about their hair, makeup and costume changes.



Imagine my chagrin and bemusement as I found myself now in that position; worrying about making the lines as straight as possible when you spin into them (which is never easy), worrying about my hair flying about, worrying about my skirt getting caught on the skirt of another dancer and on top of it all remembering all the steps and specific beats to hit them on.



It was an interesting dynamic. Appreciating the performance on both sides, as both the performer and the presenter. I think it made the experience that much richer for me.



All in all, I think I did fairly well. I was in one performance that showcased just the members of my troupe and the last performance of the night, which showcased only those that took the technique class.



My troupe dance was easy as pie. A dance I had once thought I would NEVER get down correctly, I was able to stroll through it. We have performed this dance a couple of times at different venues and we get better at it with each performance. I don't remember making any grand mistakes in this dance and if I did, I am getting much better at hiding them.



The second dance, the techinique class, was more difficult, due in part to never having performed it, having a large group of people and having only finished learning it a couple weeks ago. We practiced it before the crowd of people began to file in and I don't think anyone there thought we had a good run through. Our lines were a mess, the steps were forgotten and my skirt got caught on that of my partner. We gingerly undid the tangle and hoped it wouldn't happen again.

As I stood in line for our last number, staring at the back of one of my fellow dancers, trying to get into the beat of the music, while pretending not to notice that I was in the front row, dead center on stage and just feet from me were what felt like thousands of eyes staring at me, I silently prayed "please don't let me mess up".

The beginning of the number was good. I was confident in the steps and the rhythm. My partner and I making cheesy happy smiles at each other helped a bit. It was only towards the end, the part not practiced as much, that I started to have some difficulty. And sure enough, my skirt did get caught on my partner, but she quickly tore the thread loose off my skirt and solved the problem. Staring at my partner, I did steps that were after the next steps and threw us both off, but before I knew it, the dance was over. I felt good. Now, anyone that knows me....really knows me...is fully aware that despite how I am with people in small groups or even on a 1-on-1 basis, I am terrified of getting up in front of people. While I wasn't 100% perfect, I did the best that I could and I didn't think it was too shabby, because in the end...I did it! I got up in front of people and danced my heart out!! A real success in my book.

I told a friend the night before that I didn't care if anyone came, which in itself isn't completely true, but for the most part it was. It's not that I don't want to invite people or that I don't care if the come to support me. I would love it if EVERYONE came and loved it as much as I did! But the truth of the matter is that people are busy, they have lives that they need to live. Sometimes that allows them to be there and sometimes that doesn't. My point was, that while I would love for everyone I love to see me dance and know that this is truly what makes me happy (even if I am not perfect), if they can't make it for whatever reason, it will not bother me, because I am doing what I love and I am doing it for me. It makes me super happy and that is all that matters!

So now the season has finished and there won't be practices or performances till next year...

...what WILL I do with myself...

....hmm, Salsa Dancing...

...sounds like just the ticket!

Dresser number two...

I finished my second dresser in 3 hours last night. While it was clearly a better time than the time spent on the first dresser, I wish it had only taken two. Ah well.

I have one complaint so far about my dressers. While assembling, you are required to put wooden dowels in certain holes to help with stability. Some of these dowels aren't exactly excited about being shoved into the hole you think they should be placed in, so a little encouragement from good 'ol mister hammer is required.

Now, I didn't thwack those puppies in. It was more of a firm, but gentle tapping into place. Or so I thought. However, when I flipped over the piece to place it on top of the dresser, it was clear that the dowel is entirely too close to the underside of the finished top and that the tapping had cracked the smooth finish of the top. Bummer. I did the same thing on the first one, but thought it was a screw that was over tightened and not the dowel.

Ah well. At least I bought the glass to go on the top of the dressers. I know nothing will catch on the cracked surface and tear away the finish for now, but in the long run, I may have to look at a solution with a resin surface or something.

While I am not happy about it, for the price and quality, I am not overly surprised. For now, that would be my only suggestion to Ikea: Make the tops a little thicker or your dowels not as long.

Oh, and one more thing: The size is considerably larger than the dresser I am currently using. Next to these two behemoths, it looks small and cumbersome.

Now that you are thoroghly bored with my recent posts, let me thank you for indulging the builder in me. There is something so satisfactory in stepping back after completing a project and saying to yourself "look at what I can do".

IKEA...my kind of store...

For a while now, I have been needing to update the furniture that I purchased almost a decade ago. With the exception of two shelves, all of my furniture doesn't match. Over the years, I have tried to make it look the best possible, collecting another shelf here or an end table there, to serve another function, but really it all has never matched.

Three weekends ago, my family and I had a yard sale. I decided, while preparing for the sale, that it was time to move in a more possitive direction when it came to the furniture I have in my bedroom by replacing some pieces for others that a) served the function I needed them to serve better and b) matched the pieces I was keeping more closely.

All in all, I sold an Armoir, a shoe organizer that was being used as a TV stand, two end tables, two lamps and various other items. I also sold items that I was no longer using but had been storing for years with no purpose behind it, such as my dog kennel.

I cleaned house. I went to town on all of the boxes that I had been storing over the last four years and just de-junked as much as I possibly could. And I feel I was fairly successful and it felt really good to just get rid of stuff.

Last week, after much deliberation during the weeks prior to the yard sale, I went to Ikea with my mother to purchase the furniture that I had decided on. I settled on two dressers, complete with glass tops to prevent scratching, a sturdy TV stand to place a top them, and a set of four little mirrors. On Saturday, I put the first of the two dressers together.

In my family, I am the person that assembles the furniture that requires assembly. I am not really sure why or how this came about, but I am the one that normally will put together what ever needs to be assembled, so I was fairly confident in my capabilities when I began to put my dresser together.

I must admit, I was a bit confussed when the dresser came in not one, but two different boxes. I opened the boxes, emptied the contents, examined the parts and then grabbed the instructions. At first, I was taken aback at what stared back at me, but then I laughed. There were no words, just pictures. I LOVED it! How ingenius! Pictures, the univeral language. Somewhere, someone is getting points in charades for this.

Without much deliberation, my ipod set to shuffle on They Might Be Giants, and my ratchet screwdriver set, I set to work and was able to put my first dresser together in about four hours or so. It took longer than I would have liked, and having the knowledge of how it is done now, I think I can crank out the second dresser in much less time. The quality was really good and I was more pleased overall with it once it was put in place. I think they are going to work out nicely.

All in all...I would say that I am now officially an Ikea fan.

An old poem...

While cleaning recently, I ran across an old poem that I wrote several years ago, during a time in the country where the out cry over the war was a hot topic and voting had just become available in countries that hadn't had it before. I decided I would share it and see what others thought. I would also like to voice that I do not condone war, nor do I believe all that are enlisted in the armed forces serving this country have the same feelings as expressed in this poem. I wrote this from one perspective on a very controversial topic and mean no disrespect or offense to any persons. I do, however, support our troops and appreciate the great sacrifices that they go through to help protect my rights as an American citizen. Please remember, I am not a poet by any means...this is just something I wrote and wanted to share. I hope you enjoy it.

The Soldier arrived home wearied and dusted

What happened to the country he so loved and trusted?

Could they not see the happiness brought

or the good of the battles the brave warriors fought

in countries far way to bring freedoms long overdue

basic human rights, safety & a sense of pride to their people too?

It saddened his heart to be so betrayed

How could they see conflict & injustice and not step into the fray?

He himself had given up every thing

and still the critics watched from the wings

of our country that soars high and sleeps deeply through the night;

Many not willing to put up the fight

Could they only see the anger of some over all?

Could they not see the evil and inequality fall?

Or the happy faces of the people who went to vote

for the first time in decades allowed to hope

of a better day when freedom rules

with no fear of their children being raped or used as tools

of mass destruction and hate

hoping, perhaps now they had a better fate?

The soldier cried as he thought "where's the justice in this?"

and holding tight to his family in bliss, giving his strong & patient wife a passionate kiss

for the months at a time he's been missed

He cried bitterly for the people left behind

who still suffered from evil minds

He cried again as he counted his blessings

his wounds still seeping from beneath their dressings

and he cried again remembering one more stop he had to make

to the home of a friend whose life the enemy did take

to offer words of comfort tender & dear

to his friends' bereaved mother, through her sobs & tears

"It was worth it" he'd tell her

through kind eyes now wiser & older

"Don't believe everything you hear" he'd say

"what we did was good & gets better by the day"

"In the end, he did lose the fight,

but remember he did it because it was right"

The Soldier tattered and bruised

angered and upset by the hatred and abuse

that this fair country cried out

against his good works in selfish doubt

But he held his head high

and everyday the American Flag he did fly

knowing it mattered not what they said

he knew the truth & did the right thing instead