Joy...thy name is muppet...

Weekend Report...part 1

Well ladies & gents, the time has come for me to give my report. After having a good deal of sleep and food, I am now better in charge of my faculties to try and give my unbiased (or partially unbiased) opinion of the movie The Twilight Saga: New Moon and the New Moon Experience.

I think the best place to start is going to be the movie.

So here's my review of the movie:

All in all, I liked it. (I know...you are shocked)
Here's a few of the reasons why:
Bella's blinking issue has apparently gone away, as has her incessant stuttering issue, which prevented her from stringing two words together coherently.
The vampires look more like vampires....in that they are slightly more unsettling when looking at them. You know there is something off...but putting your finger on it is the tough part...until it's too late.
The world does not come in different shades of blue, but rather the entire color spectrum.
The dialog is easier.
The music flows well with the story and is almost a character in itself (in some places) that describes exactly what is going on.
The action in the movie is stellar and adds so much.

Now, I must state that all of this is based off of only one showing. I know, I know...you cannot believe that I didn't see it five times in a twenty-four hour period like I did last year. Sadly, a rather unpleasant sinus infection, coupled with an incredibly sore body that was the result of a fabulous dance party, limited my capabilities for multiple views. This is something I hope to remedy shortly.

I think the new director has made a world of difference. The acting was tremendously better and I am a firm believer that bad acting is a result of bad directing, so a new director would explain the improvement there. The story was a bit rushed, and if you aren't well versed in what is going on, you might want to get a run down from someone who does prior to seeing the flick, so that your enjoyment may be enhanced. However, a rushed storyline is to be expected since there is a lot to get through in a short amount of time. I struggled in parts to connect with the angst of the characters and I believe that is in part to the rush of the story and part due to the acting. Seeing as how I am not an actor though, and not trying to please countless extremely picky fans, I will try and cut the actors some slack.

I went to the midnight opening show with my good girlfriends of the NRG. We were in a theater that Events By Alice rented out and it was packed with fellow Twilightmoms. I love experiencing the movie for the first time in this type of environment, because your emotions tend to feed, even subconsciously, off of the emotions of others around you also viewing it for the first time. It's a cool experience.

While I was pleased with the first movie when it first debut, I have picked it apart with the strictest of critics since then, and believe me...we do a much tougher job than riff tracks any day, and I still like it. I don't expect this to be much different. I will always like the movie, but at some point, I wouldn't doubt that I will have a list of flaws or "cheese" issues that I wish were fixed.

All in all, the plot was easier to follow, the colors better, better action, and was the acting better. The CGI was improved as well, and while it still left something to be desired when the vampires are in the sun, the wolf transformations and action sequences were tremendous.

I left the movie encouraged and excited to see the next installment, which I found out to my great pleasure, will be in June. I just hope the new director for that film, David Slade (who was the director of 30 Days of Night, a horror flick), will do a great job as well.

The box office results and comparisons (as reported on Twilightmoms.com last night):

Midnight Showings:
Twilight - $7 Million
New Moon - $26.2 Million

Opening Day:
Twilight - $35.7 Million
New Moon - $72.7 Million

Opening Weekend:
Twilight (US & Canada) - $69.7 Million (3,419 theaters)
New Moon (US & Canada) - $140.7 Million (4,024 theaters)


New Moon's opening weekend has earned it a place in entertainment history. EW's Box Office Report is reporting that New Moon grossed an estimated $140.7 million at the box office this weekend and is now "the biggest autumn opening weekend in history and the third biggest three day debut ever." And New Moon is ranked third in overall opening weekend rankings, just behind The Dark Knight and Spider Man 3.

Worldwide estimates are that New Moon's opening weekend box office totals are around $258.8 million. Twilight's total worldwide gross was $383.5 million. In one weekend, New Moon has brought in over 67% of Twilight's total box office sales.

And keep in mind, Twilight's opening weekend accounted for 36% of it's total sales. If that trend continues, New Moon could be on it's way to grossing over $300 million domestically (Twilight's domestic total was $192.7), not to mention the worldwide totals added in there.

Told you so...

Last Friday night I had the pleasure of going to see They Might Be Giants in concert. Aside from some pain in my neck, it was a relatively enjoyable experience.

They Might Be Giants have always been a near & dear band that is close to my heart ever since I have listened to them back in Junior High.

As the band began to play the entirety of the Flood album that they had put out nearly 20 years ago, I closed my eyes and swayed to the music. I didn't see or feel the crowds of people all around me.

I was taken back to another time and place:

Hot summer nights, riding in the back of Spencer's truck.
Playing kick-the-can (or rather touch-the-can, since it was a large garbage can) in the duck park, and savoring the rush of adrenaline, I watched the others run from their hiding places, as I crouched in the dense undergrowth that was my hiding place.
Standing next to the train tracks with my arms held wide, as the train flew by, loud and threatening.
Making wish after wish on shooting stars.
My first kiss from my first love.
Late nights in the drive through of Taco Bell as we discussed the whereabouts of the stray cat who used to always be in the parking lot. We took bets on who's food he'd ended up in.
The Simpsons reruns late at night. They were just as good then.
My hand in his and feeling so small...

The music thumped my past life into the present, while I breathed deeply the mist from the fog machine and watched as the confetti fell from the ceiling. My memories and I danced together...


One of the benefits of going to a live concert is, aside from getting to see a band you really enjoy, is getting to experience new music.

The Guggenheim Grotto went on before They Might Be Giants and unlike all previous experiences, I was a little prepared for their sound and feel. I had the forethought to look up who was opening for TMBG and then went to TGG's website and listened to their music. From what I heard I liked.

Hearing them on stage though was quite a treat. Originally from Ireland, their music was full of great harmonies and ballads. I bought both of their cds and the couple of songs that weren't on the cds from itunes. So far, I have not regretted the decision at all. More than one of their songs has struck a chord with me and I would like to share one of my favorites. I hope you like it too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdAu2MFf1EE

The Guggenheim Grotto
Told You So

When the world is wide, wicked and wild
and watching my every move
I gather thoughts of you and that's what lovers do.

You've said before every act is a war
and every shade, just another shade of blue
you'd have me walk with you and that's what lovers do

Told you so, I'm in love with you...
told you so and I bet you love me too...

When you go walking away with the wind and the waves and
flirting with your feet,
you take a part of me and that's what lovers feel

And when you come upon a time and place sublime and it
shows you something real
you with me there to see and that's what lovers feel

Told you so, I'm in love with you...
told you so and I bet you love me too...

At a party I've thrown the morning has grown and
someone's going your way
you tell them you'd rather stay and that's what lovers say

So to the garden we go, quiet and slow and we
watch the world awake
you know I love you for loves sake, isn't that what lovers say?

Told you so, I'm in love with you...
told you so and I bet you love me too...

And the beat goes on...

As many of you know, I am a Belly Dancer for Gypsy Dance Company and I love it! For the past six weeks or so, I have been participating in a belly dancing technique class, because the regular dancing season ended at the beginning of September and I just couldn't get enough. This was a two hour class, the first hour being technique training and the second hour rehearsing a number for out upcoming Gypsy Tapestry Formal Event.



Last night was the Gypsy Tapestry Formal Event and the last performance of the season for Desert Gypsy Dance Company. We performed at Covey Center for the Arts in Provo with different belly dancing companies from around the area, for a fairly large crowd of people.



There are several reasons that I can think of that make me like belly dancing, but I think one of the biggest reasons is the camaraderie. The feeling of acceptance. There really is no feeling of competition or rivalry, even amongst the different troupes from different areas. We are all different. We are all shaped different, dance different, have different talents, dress differently and yet, as one group performs, another group is usually waiting in the wings for their turn and cheering on the performers. We can appreciate each other for who we really are and encourage each other regardless of all conditions. We are all like one big family...who all happen to like to shake their stuff on stage! Hahaha.



It was good to be back on a stage again. I haven't been on a stage since high school. Even though I have never been to the Covey Center for the Arts, I couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia as I wrapped my hand around the rope of the fly, or darted in and out of the legs and narrowly avoided the cyc. The lights, the music, the markers on the stage floor...all of it, was like coming home in a way, and yet completely different, because I had never been here before.



In the past, I had never been the performer really, I was always the girl behind the scenes, with her headset on, making fun of the stressed out dancers as they darted around worrying about their hair, makeup and costume changes.



Imagine my chagrin and bemusement as I found myself now in that position; worrying about making the lines as straight as possible when you spin into them (which is never easy), worrying about my hair flying about, worrying about my skirt getting caught on the skirt of another dancer and on top of it all remembering all the steps and specific beats to hit them on.



It was an interesting dynamic. Appreciating the performance on both sides, as both the performer and the presenter. I think it made the experience that much richer for me.



All in all, I think I did fairly well. I was in one performance that showcased just the members of my troupe and the last performance of the night, which showcased only those that took the technique class.



My troupe dance was easy as pie. A dance I had once thought I would NEVER get down correctly, I was able to stroll through it. We have performed this dance a couple of times at different venues and we get better at it with each performance. I don't remember making any grand mistakes in this dance and if I did, I am getting much better at hiding them.



The second dance, the techinique class, was more difficult, due in part to never having performed it, having a large group of people and having only finished learning it a couple weeks ago. We practiced it before the crowd of people began to file in and I don't think anyone there thought we had a good run through. Our lines were a mess, the steps were forgotten and my skirt got caught on that of my partner. We gingerly undid the tangle and hoped it wouldn't happen again.

As I stood in line for our last number, staring at the back of one of my fellow dancers, trying to get into the beat of the music, while pretending not to notice that I was in the front row, dead center on stage and just feet from me were what felt like thousands of eyes staring at me, I silently prayed "please don't let me mess up".

The beginning of the number was good. I was confident in the steps and the rhythm. My partner and I making cheesy happy smiles at each other helped a bit. It was only towards the end, the part not practiced as much, that I started to have some difficulty. And sure enough, my skirt did get caught on my partner, but she quickly tore the thread loose off my skirt and solved the problem. Staring at my partner, I did steps that were after the next steps and threw us both off, but before I knew it, the dance was over. I felt good. Now, anyone that knows me....really knows me...is fully aware that despite how I am with people in small groups or even on a 1-on-1 basis, I am terrified of getting up in front of people. While I wasn't 100% perfect, I did the best that I could and I didn't think it was too shabby, because in the end...I did it! I got up in front of people and danced my heart out!! A real success in my book.

I told a friend the night before that I didn't care if anyone came, which in itself isn't completely true, but for the most part it was. It's not that I don't want to invite people or that I don't care if the come to support me. I would love it if EVERYONE came and loved it as much as I did! But the truth of the matter is that people are busy, they have lives that they need to live. Sometimes that allows them to be there and sometimes that doesn't. My point was, that while I would love for everyone I love to see me dance and know that this is truly what makes me happy (even if I am not perfect), if they can't make it for whatever reason, it will not bother me, because I am doing what I love and I am doing it for me. It makes me super happy and that is all that matters!

So now the season has finished and there won't be practices or performances till next year...

...what WILL I do with myself...

....hmm, Salsa Dancing...

...sounds like just the ticket!

Dresser number two...

I finished my second dresser in 3 hours last night. While it was clearly a better time than the time spent on the first dresser, I wish it had only taken two. Ah well.

I have one complaint so far about my dressers. While assembling, you are required to put wooden dowels in certain holes to help with stability. Some of these dowels aren't exactly excited about being shoved into the hole you think they should be placed in, so a little encouragement from good 'ol mister hammer is required.

Now, I didn't thwack those puppies in. It was more of a firm, but gentle tapping into place. Or so I thought. However, when I flipped over the piece to place it on top of the dresser, it was clear that the dowel is entirely too close to the underside of the finished top and that the tapping had cracked the smooth finish of the top. Bummer. I did the same thing on the first one, but thought it was a screw that was over tightened and not the dowel.

Ah well. At least I bought the glass to go on the top of the dressers. I know nothing will catch on the cracked surface and tear away the finish for now, but in the long run, I may have to look at a solution with a resin surface or something.

While I am not happy about it, for the price and quality, I am not overly surprised. For now, that would be my only suggestion to Ikea: Make the tops a little thicker or your dowels not as long.

Oh, and one more thing: The size is considerably larger than the dresser I am currently using. Next to these two behemoths, it looks small and cumbersome.

Now that you are thoroghly bored with my recent posts, let me thank you for indulging the builder in me. There is something so satisfactory in stepping back after completing a project and saying to yourself "look at what I can do".

IKEA...my kind of store...

For a while now, I have been needing to update the furniture that I purchased almost a decade ago. With the exception of two shelves, all of my furniture doesn't match. Over the years, I have tried to make it look the best possible, collecting another shelf here or an end table there, to serve another function, but really it all has never matched.

Three weekends ago, my family and I had a yard sale. I decided, while preparing for the sale, that it was time to move in a more possitive direction when it came to the furniture I have in my bedroom by replacing some pieces for others that a) served the function I needed them to serve better and b) matched the pieces I was keeping more closely.

All in all, I sold an Armoir, a shoe organizer that was being used as a TV stand, two end tables, two lamps and various other items. I also sold items that I was no longer using but had been storing for years with no purpose behind it, such as my dog kennel.

I cleaned house. I went to town on all of the boxes that I had been storing over the last four years and just de-junked as much as I possibly could. And I feel I was fairly successful and it felt really good to just get rid of stuff.

Last week, after much deliberation during the weeks prior to the yard sale, I went to Ikea with my mother to purchase the furniture that I had decided on. I settled on two dressers, complete with glass tops to prevent scratching, a sturdy TV stand to place a top them, and a set of four little mirrors. On Saturday, I put the first of the two dressers together.

In my family, I am the person that assembles the furniture that requires assembly. I am not really sure why or how this came about, but I am the one that normally will put together what ever needs to be assembled, so I was fairly confident in my capabilities when I began to put my dresser together.

I must admit, I was a bit confussed when the dresser came in not one, but two different boxes. I opened the boxes, emptied the contents, examined the parts and then grabbed the instructions. At first, I was taken aback at what stared back at me, but then I laughed. There were no words, just pictures. I LOVED it! How ingenius! Pictures, the univeral language. Somewhere, someone is getting points in charades for this.

Without much deliberation, my ipod set to shuffle on They Might Be Giants, and my ratchet screwdriver set, I set to work and was able to put my first dresser together in about four hours or so. It took longer than I would have liked, and having the knowledge of how it is done now, I think I can crank out the second dresser in much less time. The quality was really good and I was more pleased overall with it once it was put in place. I think they are going to work out nicely.

All in all...I would say that I am now officially an Ikea fan.

An old poem...

While cleaning recently, I ran across an old poem that I wrote several years ago, during a time in the country where the out cry over the war was a hot topic and voting had just become available in countries that hadn't had it before. I decided I would share it and see what others thought. I would also like to voice that I do not condone war, nor do I believe all that are enlisted in the armed forces serving this country have the same feelings as expressed in this poem. I wrote this from one perspective on a very controversial topic and mean no disrespect or offense to any persons. I do, however, support our troops and appreciate the great sacrifices that they go through to help protect my rights as an American citizen. Please remember, I am not a poet by any means...this is just something I wrote and wanted to share. I hope you enjoy it.

The Soldier arrived home wearied and dusted

What happened to the country he so loved and trusted?

Could they not see the happiness brought

or the good of the battles the brave warriors fought

in countries far way to bring freedoms long overdue

basic human rights, safety & a sense of pride to their people too?

It saddened his heart to be so betrayed

How could they see conflict & injustice and not step into the fray?

He himself had given up every thing

and still the critics watched from the wings

of our country that soars high and sleeps deeply through the night;

Many not willing to put up the fight

Could they only see the anger of some over all?

Could they not see the evil and inequality fall?

Or the happy faces of the people who went to vote

for the first time in decades allowed to hope

of a better day when freedom rules

with no fear of their children being raped or used as tools

of mass destruction and hate

hoping, perhaps now they had a better fate?

The soldier cried as he thought "where's the justice in this?"

and holding tight to his family in bliss, giving his strong & patient wife a passionate kiss

for the months at a time he's been missed

He cried bitterly for the people left behind

who still suffered from evil minds

He cried again as he counted his blessings

his wounds still seeping from beneath their dressings

and he cried again remembering one more stop he had to make

to the home of a friend whose life the enemy did take

to offer words of comfort tender & dear

to his friends' bereaved mother, through her sobs & tears

"It was worth it" he'd tell her

through kind eyes now wiser & older

"Don't believe everything you hear" he'd say

"what we did was good & gets better by the day"

"In the end, he did lose the fight,

but remember he did it because it was right"

The Soldier tattered and bruised

angered and upset by the hatred and abuse

that this fair country cried out

against his good works in selfish doubt

But he held his head high

and everyday the American Flag he did fly

knowing it mattered not what they said

he knew the truth & did the right thing instead

....And she carried a .50 caliber Desert Eagle....

Today was...well...phenomenal. I must share.

When I woke, the sun was shining brightly through my windows. It was ten a.m.. I LOVE sleeping in! I started some laundry and tried to plan out my day.

Noon brought lunch with good friends at Joe's Cafe in Orem. If you are looking for great food...Joe had got it covered! Laughs, good friends and good eats...doesn't get much better than that! Or does it?!

In fact it does!

Upon exiting Joe's, Mark and Tim decided to go gun shopping...so I tagged along! I haven't looked at guns in a long time, but it was a lot of fun! We started at Gunnies...then perused Cabelas...and ended up at Get Some in Murray. Yes...Get Some. And we did!

Inside Get Some, they have a shooting range. I couldn't help but be drawn to the range counter looking at the rates to shoot. Tim decided that he wanted to give his brand of gun a little test drive and apparently I drooled a little too much because the manager at the counter asked if I was going to shoot. I must admit, my trigger was itching something fierce!

The manager then said "I have a just the gun for you and it looks like we have one box of ammo left"...magical and powerful words. I wasn't sure what gun it was that he thought I would like to sure and then he pointed to the .50 caliber Desert Eagle in the bottom right corner of the glass case, tucked away....

It was magnificent. It was seductive. It was taunting me...

I caved.

It was HUGE!!!

The manager loaded us up with all our gear and we headed into the range. Not having a whole lot of experience with a semi-auto pistol, I had Mark load it for me. I also had him shoot it first because I was chicken. It was a REALLY big gun.

I stepped up the lane. I took my stance.

I pulled the trigger...

....and fell in love.

The power was tremendous, the sound was shattering and I could feel the blast of air as the bullet jettisoned away from me.

Sweet adrenaline coursed through me as I pulled the trigger once, twice, three times.

Bliss.

Of course, the weight of the gun and the kick tired my arm quickly, so Mark and Tim stepped up to squeeze a few rounds off. This kind of fun should be shared!

It was only after that I realized the manager hadn't really thought that I would shoot that gun. Apparently he thought I would shy away from it. How very wrong he was...

After all the bullets were gone, a few kept for souvenirs, and the papers processed for Tim's new baby... the guys were good enough to take me to the Fashion Place mall so that I could get some lip gloss I have been lusting after and some new Skull Candy ear buds, since mine have shorted out.

Seriously...good food, wonderful friends, shooting a serious gun and topping it off with lip gloss?!!

Superb day! One for the books.

Thanks Mark and Tim!

Kabluey...

While in the local movie rental store, I stumbled across a movie that looked intriguing and decided to rent it.

I loved it.

I can't really put my finger on the reason I loved it, but it has something to do with the acting style I think.

I have rented it three times. Most likely I will purchase it in the future at some point.

Anyway, I know I have told more than a few of you about it, so I thought I would add some links to the trailer so you can get an idea of what you are missing. I am also going to link to his other short films, which I was highly entertained with as well.

Enjoy. Or don't. It's really up to you. :)

Kabluey Trailer

Anna is Being Stalked

The Delicious (Part 1)

The Delicious (Part 2)

Begin again...

...and then I remember that he wants me to feel that way...and I search... And I find:

"The Lord knows who we really are, what we really think, what we really do, and who we are really becoming.

"For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. (Proverb 23:7)

"Hearken unto the words of the Lord, and ask the Father in the name of Jesus for what things soever ye shall stand in need. Doubt not, but be believing, and begin as in times of old, and come unto the Lord with all your heart, and work out your own salvation with fear and trembling before him."

In the end, the only thing that matters is what is in my heart, and only the Lord can judge that...no one else.

Thanks for the reminder, Elder Bednar.

Self-misconseption...

...and then the other shoe drops and I quietly wonder if despite all changes made, I am inherently bad and cannot be fixed...

F.S.P. (Flippin Sweet Photo)

I saw this posted on my friend, Ru's, blog and had to repost it because...well...it is TOTALLY F.S.P.!

While I am totally embarrassed that a) I did this and b) it was caught on film for posterity....I have to say it is truly CLASSIC!

Let it never be said that white girls can't jump!

What: The Bouquet Toss

Where: Ruth's Wedding June '01

And in Ruth's words:

What The?!: Brooke jumping what looks like 10 feet in the air to catch the bouquet. She really wanted it!

(I really did! Hahahaha!)

Know thyself...

So this weekend was full of movies for me since I was not feeling the best for most of it.

As I was showering this morning, I was reflecting on my life and a few things, which is normal for me, and I started to think of the movie "Runaway Bride" starring Julia Roberts. As I started to think about this movie, I wondered just how much like her I am. 

Clearly, I haven't run from marriage....but I almost did once. The day I got married, my nerves were shot and right about the time the fire alarm starting going off in the church, I was ready to bolt for the door. There was about 10 minutes there, where I was mostly unsupervised, and I could have done it. Haha...but that is not what this blog is about.

This blog is about how much of myself I change for another person. 

I past relationships, I have taken on the passions of the guys that I have dated, claiming them as my own. Now, if this was due to me not knowing myself or if it was more just to see if I also liked those things, I am not sure. What I am sure about is that in the past, I have watched my fair share of WWE wrestling, Hockey, and hunting videos to last me a lifetime. (If I had to go Turkey hunting now, I think I could manage just fine)

I can camp with the best of them now, out in the boonies. I know how to fix a great deal of things that a normal girl wouldn't have the first clue on (a point that causes me great frustration when they don't know how to do these things on their own. I want to look at them and say "power tools, you can use them too you know...").

But at the end of the day, when the hockey game comes on or I am flipping through the channels, am I going to pick the hunting, or the WWE? No, probably not. In truth, they aren't my cup of tea.

So my question is again, how much of my likes are mine and how much of them are theirs? 

Since I have been alone for the past four years, I have started to ferret out exactly what my likes are and learn more and more of myself in the process. It has been a really healthy thing.

So here's what I have come up with:

I am not a big fan of wrestling. It is a cruel sport (the real one) in which men beat mercilessly on themselves, till they cause irreparable damage to their bodies. As for the WWE thing...give me a break. Isn't Nova on or something?

Hunting...well, as far as hunting goes, I don't mind it. I understand the need for it. I think you can gain a better appreciation of an animal that you respect and admire. However, I don't believe I will ever have a "mount" on my wall.

Guns...always a good thing to know about. I personally like them. Nothing quite like taking frustrations out on a pack of clay pigeons!

Camping...I prefer to go camping somewhere partially groomed that has some form of "facilities" attached. But, if necessary, I can be boonie girl if required.

Football...or sports in general, really. Having never been the best at ANY sport, I don't really enjoy watching or playing for that matter. I can watch if I must, but not every night all night long. Again, Nova anyone? Or perhaps Are You Being Served?

I don't like horror movies, especially the ones with the ghosts. I don't like ghosts. 

I don't like horrible heavy music, where the lead singer is blurting out cuss word after cuss word, but you can't tell because it isn't decipherable anyway.

Travel...I like traveling. I enjoy going new places and having adventures. It is something I hope to do more of.

These are just a few of the things that I have figured out on my own. There are more, but time constraints don't allow for a more thorough review.

I will say this though, it would seem pretty clear that I am not afraid to try out the likes of the guy I date. There are several things that I have liked because of them and kept.

At the end of the day, I think it is all about balance. Trying out new things and being able to retain the things that you truly enjoy, without losing yourself in them and not truly knowing thyself.

Once Upon A Time...

(My favorite picture of myself)

I myself was a princess once. A Long, Long, LONG time ago.

Weddings have been on my mind a lot lately. A good friend of mine is getting married and we have been looking at pictures of wedding dresses, rings and cakes. For a while now, when thinking about getting remarried, I have often though I wouldn't care so much about all the small stuff that brides stress out about. I still don't think I will be as stressed as I was before, but I forgot how much fun it was to plan a wedding.

So, because I have such a GREAT imagination, I have started to think about what I would do differently this time around if I got married again. The first difference would be going to the temple. Of course, this time I would do it right, making the temple my first priority. Which temple I would marry in, I am not sure. The Salt Lake City Temple is a beautiful temple with several places for beautiful pictures, but my heart isn't set on any particular temple.

The second thing is that I would probably get a simple wedding dress, but perhaps have a color on it. Maybe a vintage dress, instead of something modern.

As for a ring, well, this time I think I would choose a Moissanite stone (aka Simulated Diamond). You can get just as beautiful a stone for a huge deduction in cost. A plus here is that for any reason if you loose your ring, the compulsion to vomit is slightly less.

A good photographer is always a good idea, but this time I would most likely put the wedding video together myself.

If there was a reception, I would LOVE to have a dance floor! Make it a big party!! Cool and relaxed, everyone just having a good time and getting down to some good tunes.

Cake...well, probably make it myself, something small and simple, but with some fun or pizzaz and cupcakes for the guests with fruit.

This time, I wouldn't worry about the centerpieces, the colors...all the details that were so HUGE the first time, and now really don't matter. This time, most of the details I think would be up to the groom, especialy if he'd never been married before.

In truth, I don't really think I would mind getting married in something I would wear to church, with a simple silver band. It wouldn't matter to me as long as I had the right guy next to my side. The guy. I want to find a guy that looks at me as though I were the beginning and the end, the sunset he couldn't look away from, the most beautiful creature he's seen both inside and out.

If I could find a guy that loved me for all my strengths and even more for my flaws, who wanted to endure all the trials this life has to offer with me, who would love me despite my shape or size but rather for the depth of my heart, who wanted to achieve the same basic goals and could support me in mine...well, it wouldn't matter to me about all the details of the wedding.

Once upon a time, I was a princess bride...who stressed about the colors, and the cake, and the church hall, the table decorations, the invitations, the line, the dress, the ring....

...and then this princess grew up and realized that there are more important things than that.

This time around...it would be different.

P.S. I still would like the dress and all that...Lol...I am a girl after all! I am just saying...is all.

P.P.S. ~ Sorry about the horrible quality pics. I didn't have a scanner for the first one and the second one, I was just being lazy and didn't want to scan it. :)

(My second favorite picture of myself)

The Most Depressing Song....

Recently, a friend shared with me her thoughts on the song "Somebody" by Depeche Mode and how it had to be possibly the most depressing song she's ever heard. She sympathizes with the singer of the song and how alone he sounds...but listening to the song, I disagree. It sounds to me like this guy knows what he wants in a relationship and is looking for it.

"Somebody" by Depeche Mode

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone wholl stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
Shell get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
Shell hear me out
And wont easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact shell often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone wholl help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I dont want to be tied
To anyones strings
Im carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when Im asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
Ill get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....

What do you think? Sounds good to me.