Happy Thanksgiving!

I was reminded today by my wonderful friend Tim that there are so precious few moments in this life, that if we don't take the time to tell those around us how much they mean to us, we may never get that chance. Tim, thank you for your beautiful message of friendship, it meant more than you can possibly know.

I am usually a person who gives thanks inwardly for those that I am blessed to come in contact with, but the first to groan when we go around the table to list an item that we are thankful for. I know I should be better at showing those around me how much they mean to me and from now on I will double my efforts.

Here are a few things I am grateful for:

1) Spell checker! Hahaha...just kidding. No seriously, gotta love spell checker.

2) The senses (smell, touch, taste, sight, hearing), without which this life would be a very different experience.

3) Blankets and hot water (see previous post)

4) Sunsets

5) Color

6) British Comedy

7) Chick-flicks

8) Pastry & desert

9) Stuffed Animals

10) Mary Kay eye make-up remover

Ok, ok...so those aren't the best things that I am thankful for, but they are a small list of my favorites. I know I need to start acknowledging my likes and dislikes out loud, other wise, I don't know what they are and sound like an idiot when asked what I like and I respond "walks on the beach at sunset" (which incidentally I do like).

What am I really grateful for...well folks, hold on...this is going to get deep and most of you will not understand, but I am compelled to list them regardless:

1)God. Of course you say...but no, I am grateful for a god that, despite my damned soul, he has forgiven me of all the wrong that I brought to this world and all the suffering I caused and cause him on a daily basis. Everyday I am reminded that he has given me a second chance to find happiness in this life. I am grateful he has taken pity on me and through him, I will not loose those things that matter to me most of all.

2) My family. While my family is far from perfect, I love all the members in it. I love both my Mom and my Dad, whom without them I would have been lost a long time ago. Dad, thank you for taking me in as one of your own and supporting me and the boys even when it wasn't your obligation. Mom, there aren't words. You are such a strong and loving mother and I aspire to be the example that you have shown me. I love you both so very much!

Rob, Jen, Sam, Elija & Baby; Chris, Stacie, Eliza, Lucas & Oliver; Garrett, Jessica, Gabriel & James; Ryan; Bradon & Stephanie; Trevor....to all of you, your love and support have meant the world to me! I love to have you around. You inspire me to be a better person, sister, friend and hopefully one day mother. Thank you for all that you have done in my life.

3) My friends. I believe that god sent me the best of friends to help direct my life, otherwise I would have fallen off the deep end a long time ago. Ruth, you are the very best friend a girl could ever ask for! You know the very best and worst of me and you still will take me. Thank you for being the rock that I needed in some really tough times. 

Ladies of the NRG6, I love you all more than you know. Our get-togethers, while crazy, are something I always look forward to. Thank you for your openness, your fun and loving natures and for letting me be not only your friend, but leader in mischief. (BTW, Tesoro still has posted nil on youtube...I think we are in the clear!)

Ladies of the Office: Bonnie, Elizabeth & Sydney, without you ladies, I would have gone postal a long time ago. Bonnie & Biz, thank you for sharing your views & perspectives and being as receptive to mine...and then still choosing to let me be your friends. I love ya both. Syd...I love ya sista!

And my friends from the Ward: Tim, Rocio, Mark, Gina, Cheryl, & Jeff. You all seriously rock...and literally, but thank you for being accepting of me and my oddities. The world is a much better place with friends like you in it! 

Bishop Warner & Sister Warner, thank you is all I will ever be able to offer, so I hope you know it is from the whole of my heart. James B....thanks for starting me off on the path of hugs again...

All my friends...thank you so much for being my friend!

4) Music. I know when compared to the first three, music seems kinda trite, but for me, music is the language of my soul. I may not be able to compose it, play it, sing it or any of that....but I FEEL it. It connects with the deepest core of me and has saved me in the past when no others could. They say water is the quickest conductor of heat or cold. Music is like that for me. It is the quickest conductor for placebo happiness to my soul. Nothing picks me up like music.

There are is so much in this world that I am so thankful for, so blessed to have received and so lucky to have witnessed. The last thing that I am grateful for is an odd thing, but I mean it when I say that I am grateful for it.

5) Pain. In this life, there is so much good, so much love, so much light and so much beauty. On the flip side, there is also so much evil, so much hate, darkness and ugliness. While I willingly admit that in my life I have not seen the worst of all these things, I have seen what I can withstand. I have experienced what I could handle. I have been tried and tested. I have felt the sorrow, hollow emptiness, blackened bleakness of pain. God has given me what I could handle and I did with it what I could. At the time it was horrible, but now, looking back on it, I am so very thankful for it. Pain, trials, tests....all of it led to the person that I am today. I may not be perfect, but I am strong. I may not know myself as well as I ought to, but I like the person that I have become a little more each day. My pains of the past have prepared me for today and tomorrow and I know that I will be able to handle what is given to me as my next test or trial. I would not know the up without the down and while the downs can get pretty low, the smallest up can be worth it in the end.

I am thankful for this life and this opportunity to live it. May god bless you and your families! Happy Thanksgiving!